A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes.

He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.

At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.   

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?"

She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."

"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"  


*********


Moral of the story : Always tell your wife the truth. She won't believe you anyway.   

~~~~~~~

Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k

Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??

How much is DRIVING salary...?

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun,
 
Coz it gives light at night when light is needed

& Sun gives light during  the day when light is not needed!!!

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b  to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

Step 1
The very first thing you need to do,is open up a http://www.blogger.com/ account, if you already have one go to step 2! You will be asked a few simple questions and have to fill out a form, it will also ask you what the name of your blog is and what you would like the url to be, it will then check if thats available and if so you move on to the next step, creating a post! (we will move onto content later!) at this point minamise that window, or if your using tab's leave it open and come back to this page!

Step 2
You need a cpays account, and here's the important bit, you must click this link! or you won't be my sub-affiliate and you won't get the preferential rate! cpays is an adverting affiliate program for a number of online casino's poker room's and bingo sites, we are only dealing with the casino's for now, because i haven't negotiated a deal for the others (yet!)once this is setup, again minimise this window or if tabbed, return to this page!

Step 3
You are going to need to put a method of payment in place, not to make payment's but to recive them. So you can either have a Wire transfer directly into your account (minimum of $200 but you will be earning way more than that!) or you can open a Neteller account, MoneyBookers or WebMoney account.

Note: Not all of these options are available in every country so find the one which best suits you!also payouts that are carried out through Neteller, MoneyBookerws and WebMoney require a minimum of only $5


Step 4
Now you have a blog space, an affiliation with cpay's who will pay you for all your hard work, an online banking system to get paid into or a wire transfer in place to accept your hard earned cash into your bank account so you need content!

Now this is the part I love and hate, a few of you may have seen similar blog's to the one i'm about to show you! you may have belived that it work's, you may not belive it work's but this is where i get around 70% of my buisness from. I want you in the first instance to copy my casino blog (link here)onto your blog page TEXT ONLY! dont copy the banners or i will get paid not you!
Then you need to visit your cpays account page and click on Marketing Tools in here you will find all the different banners for all the casino's, I want you to put exactly the same banners up that i'm displaying, this is what cpays are wanting displayed at the moment! they keep me informed as to which banners and which casinos they need promoting at which time!

Next I want you to return to my casino blog and register for the 32 vegas casino, now this isn't essential to the system working, and you don't have to do it if you don't want to! This is only a recomendation, and i repeat you do not have to do it!
I would like you to deposit $50 into 32 vegas, you will in return get a 320% sign up bonue giving you around $160, you can not withdraw this! I would then like you to follow the instructions in the blog you just coppied to see the system in action! once you have done this a few times withdraw your original deposit of $50 I do not want you gambeling to make money! I want yo promoting the gambeling system and the casino's! it's much more proffitable!
The only reason I ask you to try it out is that when you come to sell the system on your blog, your selling with confidence because you know it works, you can try it on play money but the system is geared up for you to win more often than if you play real money.
The next thing i want you to do regarding content is go through the blog, see what you think need's changing re-write it if you feel somthing needs explaining better, remember i am dyslexic so feel free to correct spelling mistakes etc...

Step 5
Promoting your blog, OK this is where people all over the world fall down, there are 2 ways of promoting and only 2 (ok there are sub catagories but in essence just 2!)

1, you pay
2, you work

Ok so first you pay! this can be in the form of adwords, mass emailing, or even putting an ad in your local paper, it will get results but it cost's money, and i'm guessing but if you had an abundance of cash you woldn't be on line looking for FREE WAY'S TO MAKE MONEY!

So let's asume you prepared to work for it! you've read this so far and your still here so I would say you have at the very least an intrest in actualy making money and a bit of will power to succeed, if your reading this for the second time you have more will power, an even greater interest in making money and a bullet proof resiliance to my poor spelling!
To really make something from nothing your going to have to do a lot of leg work, The very first thing you need to do now is visit http://www.warriorforum.com/ and get registered warrior forum is an online colection of people just like you and me, they all want to make money from the internet, and some do it very well, others will have less experiance than you, so login leave a few posts and have your blog page in your signature, people will visit it over time and you'll get sign up's

Now you need to look around for forums online relating to casino sign up bonuses, and systems to beat the house I could list these sites for you but you would all be looking in the same place for sign ups so it's better if you google it yourself and don't take the forums from the first page go a little deeper and find a group that someone else in our team isn't using.
How about offline ad's, why not try placing flyers advertising your blog site under car windsheild wipers to try and get peoples attention, it costs pence to print them out and if you put one on 1000 car's you should get about a 5% conversion rate that's 50 people do that twice a week and you've got yourself $5000 a week! even at 1% conversion you would be making $1000 a week it has to be a start right!
Why not try setting up a group on face book, myspace or another networking site about roulette get a few people intrested and after you've been talking for a bit, show them your blog!
Theres so many ways to promote that cost little or no money so get ou there and do it!

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their first wedding night with the young man's parents. In the morning, his mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast including freshly cut flowers from her garden and gourmet food. She went to the bottom of the stairs and called everyone to come down to breakfast. Everyone came down, except the newlyweds.
After a long wait, the family ate without them. The mother said, I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
The groom's young brother said, "Mommy, I think..."
"Oh, shut up. I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.
At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and again called the young couple to eat. Five minutes went by and she called again. After another long wait, the family proceeded to eat. As she was cleaning the table, mother once again said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
Once again, the younger brother started to speak, but mother immediately shut him up. At dinner the same thing happened. After the meal, mothers once again questioned why they had not come down to eat all day. The young lad once again said, "Mommy I think..."
"Well, what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather testily.
"I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last night, he got my model airplane glue instead!"

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both are threatened by their own kind.
4. Both like to chew wood.
5. Both mark their territory.
6. Both are bad at asking you questions.
7. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
8. Both tend to smell riper with age.
9. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
10. Neither does any dishes.
11. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
12. Both like dominance games.
13. Both are suspicious of the postman.
14. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
15. Neither understands what you see in cats.

Sorry Guys ..Please comments on this what you fill

This little boy was at school one day and had to use the bathroom really bad. So he raised his hand and told the teacher he had to use the bathroom really bad. She said ok well let me hear your ABC'S first so he started saying them" A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,,Q,R,S,T,U

Khushbu teri Dosti ki muje mehka jati hai.
Teri har baat mujhe behka jaati hai,
Saas toh bahut der leti hai aane me…
har saas se pehle Teri yaad aa jati hai…

ჯહઔહჯ═══■■═══ჯહઔહჯ

Lehro se milkar na woh beh sake na hum,
ek duje ke Dil me na woh reh sake na hum,
jeet lete aasma ek din lekin, palkon ke khamoshi ko
hoto se na woh keh sake na hum…

ჯહઔહჯ═══■■═══ჯહઔહჯ

hum jee rahe the unka naam lekar,
vo gujarte the hamara salaam lekar,
ek din vo keh gaye bhula da humko,
humne pucha kaise?
vo chale gaye hath mein jaam dekar

ჯહઔહჯ═══■■═══ჯહઔહჯ

kaanch ko chahat thi patthar paane ki,
ek pal me fir tutkar bikhar jaane ki,
chahat bus itni thi us deewane ki,
apne tukdo me tasvir uski saajane ki,

Population: 100 crore
9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt
17 crore in central Govt
(Both Categoy dont work)
1 crore IT professional (dont work for India )
25 crore in school
1 crore r under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail



Rest two are U & I.


You are busy "Orkuting/ checking Mails/sending fwds/Talking in phone..."!!



HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone? Hmmm? Tell me.......Do something yaar ,,,,,

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Boobs pe dalo honey and ice
boobs ban gae very nice
boobs boobs...boobs boobs

bitha ke tub me lo boobs ki chuski
pekar doodh door karo khuski
boobs boobs boobs boobs

boobs ko chuso kar do lal
dil me na rahe koi malal
boobs boobs boobs boosb

boobs se tum jam ke khelo..
nipplon ko bhi muh me le lo
boobs boobs boobs boobs

bra me banao apna home
boobs hain ye nahi hain dome
boobs boobs boobs boobs

boobs ko pakdo kar do mash
nikal ke doodh banao squash
boobs boobs boobs boobs

boobs se karae agar koi malish
door kar de even uski falish
boobs boobs boobs boobs
i luv girls boobs very much
i want 2 tell u tat
u r so sexy sexy sexy ssexy

_______________* Joy
_______________** Love
______________**** Hope
_____________****** Faith
____________******** Peace
___________********** Health
__________************ Success
_________************** Friendship
________**************** Prosperity
_______******************_______
_______________|__|______________
_______________|__|______________
_______________|__|______________
T H I S S W E E T R E L A T I O N S H I P

╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬
╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬╬═♥═╬
╬═♥═╬
╬═♥═╬ 7 - RULES TO BE HAPPY
╬═♥═╬
╬═♥═╬ 1....Never Hate
╬═♥═╬ 2....Don't Worry
╬═♥═╬ 3....Live Simple
╬═♥═╬ 4....Expect A Little
╬═♥═╬ 5....Give A Lot
╬═♥═╬ 6....Always Smile
╬═♥═╬ 7....Have friend Like Me
╬═♥═╬ Who, Always Remember YOU

Only special people receives love
Only special minds receives wisdom

Only special hands receives gifts
And only special persons receive MY MESSAGES

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Think
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Any guess?
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Ok, I will tell you..
-
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Tom & Jerry cartoon begins!

 

Answer:-

A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .. :)

Height of Kanjoosi: Bania's house in fire,

He is gvng miss calls 2 Fire brigade

Sex with one arm isn't the same! Damienne also does a hilarious Rosie Perez impersonation!...Damienne comedy time comedytime video jokes stand-up

this the first time Hillary Clinton has refused to drop out of a race? Never before seen footage of a Young Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
Created by and starring Jerry O'Connell and Brandon Johnson. Also starring Laci Kay as Young Hillary Clinton.

Q) There was once a woman called Bunty Kaur who had a boyfriend. One day, when her boyfriend broke up with her, the computer program crashed. Why?



A) Because Kaur Dump ho gaya.

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperat

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: Cloud.

Want a free iPod. Yes, FREE! No, you will not get a free ipod from my site. You'll get a free iPod jokes instead

Mom: Why is your hand in your pants?!
Me: I was just 'shuffling'
Mom: What, right here?
Me: No, you don't understand! It's my iPod!
Mom: iPod, what is that?
Me: It is a small white thing, you know, girls will go crazy to have one free.
Mom: What! (She fainted)

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing
APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM = I Blame Microsoft
DEC = Do Expect Cuts
CA = Constant Acquisitions
CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.
SCSI = System Can't See It
DOS = Defunct Operating System
BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
WWW = World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The OS Hangs

A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:
"Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de" (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees)

At once her husband told her: "de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!" (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)

Sardarji finds cigarette in his daughter's room: OH NO SHE SMOKES...he exclaims


Then finds whisky bottle and again he exclaims,"OH NO SHE DRINKS"...


Can you imagine what our Sardarji finds next???

A condom!!!

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.
Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"
Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!

10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.
9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.
8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.
7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.
6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.
5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.
4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.
3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.
2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it "nuclear" instead of "nucular."
1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft
Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further
correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar
khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai.

Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs back.!

 

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

 

Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....

 

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?

He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

 

Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'. Sardar said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you nest year.

 

 

Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at emergency? Becoz, they can't find the eleven on the phone.

 

Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar says: Drink quickly. Wife asks: why?? Sardar says: hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10.

 

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply next year.

 

Sardar's wish: when i die, i wanna to die like my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving....

 

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

 

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

 

Flash news: A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab. Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

 

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

 

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies. Sardar goes to china to find meaning of friends last words. It is "you're standing on the oxygen tube!!"

 

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked: what you are doing? He said: i'm seeing how i look while sleeping.

 

A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels,

but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so? "It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "to start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning.

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.

Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth. The first applicant,

an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.

"A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.

He asked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family,

he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a Indian politician (Lallu Yadav). When asked how much money

he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I'll keep $1 million,

and we'll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars"....

* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
La loo

* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

* Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"

* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"

* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
"Marriage"

* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"/

Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.

Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani

Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."

Laallooo Prasad Yadav gave a speech to "pharin delegation" from Amrika. The topic of the speech was COWW

What is a Cow
HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, (but will do so when he is got child.). He is same like - God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. (Horses don't have any such attachment.)

Use of a cow
What can it do? Various - ghee, butter, cream, curd, and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also, his other motion... (gobar) is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making Pizza that can be used for heating oneself in winter. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chews with his teeth who are situated in the inside of the mouth.

Tailing a cow
He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies, which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he, gives hit with it.

I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Jay Hind!"

Once bush visited to india. And he directly go to home town of lalu in bhihar. After having look at bihar he had meeting Gossip with laloo.
Bush: ye kya haal kar rakha hai bihar ka ??
Laloo: kyo kya huwa ???
Bush: aaray sab jagaha, mara mari, loot mar, rape …etc. etc and abt u r roads, building, houses, offices ???

Then he said to laloo …"Mr.laloo if u give me bihar for 3 months I can change it as if america.."

On this laloo said "kya 3 mahina ….. aaph yek kaam karo …ye jo america hai na wo mujhe 3 dino kay liye do … nahi tin dino may usay bihar jaisa banaya to naam badal dunga …"

Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."

This is how business is done!!!

1) Laloo enters a shop and shouts, "Where's my free gift with this
oil?"
Shopkeeper: "Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai, Lalooji"
Laloo : Ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE "

2) Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him:
" God, When shall I see The defeat of Bush? "
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez
Musharaff visits God and asks him:
" God, when shall I see the Capture of Kashmir by Pakistan. "
God replies:" Son, you will not see it in lifetime".
Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:
" God when shall I see Bihar Becoming a prosperous and happy state ?
" Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks:"
God, why are you crying?
" God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime."

3) Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge
rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE", for which Laloo
replied "85 Kgs" and moved on…

4) Laloo's family planning policy : DON'T HAVE MORE THAN TWO
CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR

5) At a bar in New York , the man to Laloo's left tells the
bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion
says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and
asks, "AND U sir?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

6) After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides To go
modelling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and Resting his
elbows. On the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day
the photo Appears on the front page of a newspaper. Guess the
caption !! 'Laloo, third from left!'

7) A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for divorce?"
Laloo replies "Marriage".

8) After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for Quite
sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to A
friend. "It Took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five
months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool,"
Laloo replies. "Read the box, it says "5-7 years".