Solve the puzzle by saying them out loud, over and over until
you "hear" the answer. Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place)
Answer: Los Angeles

These are places
1. Use Seal Lay
2. Hue Essay
3. Thin Worth Poll
4. Loss Fake Cussed Rip
5. Thief Lower Duck Ease
6. Pan Numb Hog Kin Now
7. Thick Hard Enough Heed Hen
8. Hike Up Hull Comb Egg Sicko
9. Mound Deaf Arrest
10. Lit Tell It All Lee

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist,"Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a beautiful Rolex watch."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," the artist said.

"I know," she said.
"It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he would remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for all that jewelry."

Lesson 1:

   A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
   The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
   Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
   After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
   The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
   When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
   "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
   "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

   Moral of the story
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


*********

   Lesson 2:

   A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
   The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
   The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
   The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
   The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
   Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
   On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

   Moral of the story
    If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


*********

   Lesson 3:

   A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
   The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
   "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
   Puff!  She's gone.
   "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
   Puff! He's gone.
   "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
   The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

   Moral of the story
    Always let your boss have the first say.


*********

   Lesson 4:

   An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
   The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
   So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

   Moral of the story
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


*********

   Lesson 5:

   A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."
   "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
   They're packed with nutrients."
   The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
   The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
   Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

   Moral of the story
    BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


*********

   Lesson 6:

   A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
   A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
   Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

   Morals of this story

    (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

    (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

    (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth

shut!







&&&&&&&&
Few more lovely stories 4 U:
a.  worth
b.  Old carpenter
c.  Will Power
d.  The Starfish
e.  Fisherman
&&&&&&&&








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Hi All, I am really frustrated about the job & my life , I am planning to sacrifice my life in serving people have a peaceful life,but, I suggest u guys not to follow my principles, enjoy your life but never follow my way, Bcoz it may lead to very dangerous situations to you.

So kindly stick to job stay a happy life. I decided to join in an ashram where I hope I can have a peaceful life.
All the best for your future and career.

U can see one of my ashram's members who am I going to live with. Scroll Down...

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One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had
gone out and he asked his father, "Where did Mommy go?"

In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."

This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's
a Tupperware party, Daddy?"

The man had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple
explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a
Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to
each other."

He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.

A friend of mine had five kids.

When the youngest finally turned 16,

and was the last one left at home,

my friend posted a sign on the kid's bedroom door:

"Check-out time is 18."

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41to
purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying
degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined,
and punched one another.

The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally, they reached the
ticket window.

"Five tickets, please," the father said."Two round trip, three one way."

:):)

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give
me 12-year scotch, and don`t try to fool me because I can tell the
difference."

The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with
5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this
crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch."

The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip,
grimaces and says, "Bartender, I don`t want 8-year scotch like this
filth. Give me 12-year scotch!"

Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip
and sighs, "Ah, now that`s the real thing."

A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with
great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the
man and says, "Hey, I think that`s really far out what you can do. Try
this one."

The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries,
"Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!"

The drunk`s eyes light up and he says, "Yeah, now how old am I?"

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said,

"But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"



With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"



__

Arz kiya hai...
Main bhi tere liye
TAJ MAHAL banaaunga..
Main bhi tere liye TAJ MAHAL banaaunga...
1 cup Subah aur 1 cup Shaam ko Pilaaunga..!!



~~~~~~~~~



Ek hawa ka jhoka as aaya
To laga jaise ke tum aaye ho

Darwaze par kisi ki aahat is hui
To laga jaise ke tum aaye ho

AB tum hee bataoo...
Kya tum kisi bhoot se kam ho



~~~~~~~~~



KHUDA JAB HUSN DETA HAI,
KHUDA JAB ISHQ DETA HAI.
KHUDA JAB ROOP DETA HAI
UDHAR KANJOOSI SE,
AUR IDHAR CHAPPAR FAAD KE DETA HAI :0



~~~~~~~~~



Hum Giray Huyay Ko Uthatay Hain
Hum Bichroon Hoon Ko Milatay Hain

Kiyun K Hum
.
.
Bra Banaate Hain, Hum Bra Banaate Hain



_

A child had never seen his hips

Once his teacher hit him on his hips.

Childn come back to home & see the mirror,

& said

Kamini NE do tukde kar diye.



~~~~~~~~~



Biwi ka antim sanskar kar ek aadmi ghar ja raha tha.

Achanak..... Bijli chamki tufan Aaya aur barish Hui,

Dukhi Aadmi bola "Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi."



~~~~~~~~~



KABHI KABHI
MERE DIL ME
KHAYAL AATA HAI........

..

..

..

KABHI KABHI
MERE DIL ME
KHAYAL AATA HAI........

KAHA THANA
KABHI KABHI AATA HAI,
AAJ NAHI AAYA

AANE KE BAAD BATAUNGA

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... cheap...........no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative.  More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.

Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They  are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !