God created the donkey and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."

The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
*******

God created the dog and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "

The dog answered: "Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years."
God granted his wish.
*******

God created the monkey and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. "

The monkey answered: "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
*******

Finally God created man ... and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.

You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
*******

Man responded: "Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused."
God granted man's wish
*******

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man ,
marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old,

he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life. Is'nt it ??????????

Gam nahi waha jaha ho fasana tera,
Khushiya dhundti rahe aashiyana tera,
Wo waqt hi na aaye jab TU udas ho,
Ye duniya bhula na sake muskurana tera..

.................................................

Wo yaro ki mehfil, wo muskurate pal,
Dil se juda hai apna bita hua Kal,
Kabhi jindagi guzjarti thi Waqt bitane me,
Aaj waqt guzar jata hai chand kagaj ke note kamane me......

................................................
Dariya wafaoo ka kabi rukta nahi,
Mohabat me insaan kabhi jukta nahi,
Hum chup hai kisi ki khushi ke liye,
Aur wo sochte hai dil hamara dukhta nahi.

................................................

Kabhi-Kabhi aisa bhi hota hai,
Dosti ka asar zara der se hota hai.
Unhe lagta hai Hum kuch nahi Sochte unke bare me,
Par Har baat me Zikr unka hi hota hai..........

.................................................

More SMS shayaries for U !

 Muskurate rahe |  Baho me lelo |  Pyar kisi se Jo |  Tujhe bhulkar bhi
...............................................................

*  We got off the Titanic first.

* There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

* We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

* We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

* We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

* Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

* Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... ( You got the point? ).

* We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

* We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay!

* We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.

"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".

At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.

"Where is my father?" he asked.

There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.

On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.

Clever Guest laughed.

"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!

It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?

Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"

Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.


Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.


Young cock : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.


Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?


Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.


Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.

Young cock :

O.K. What kind of competition?


Old cock: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.


Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.


Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.


Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.


Suddenly, Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

David is throwing Robert a surprise birthday party but he has to stay within his budget. He spent half of his money plus $2.00 on the cake. Half of what he had left plus $2.00 was spent on balloons and streamers. Then he spent half of what he had left plus $1.00 on candy. Now he is out of money, how much did he start with?

German scientists dug 50 meters down and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone net.

Naturally, the Russian government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters
down they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Russians 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fiber net.

American scientists were outraged by this. They dug 200 meters down and found absolutely nothing. They happily concluded that the ancient Americans 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's butt if someone doesn't notice your new
haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too icky looking.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without
ever thinking? "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife or your teeth.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
December 24th, in 45 minutes.

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a
private club. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings.
One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation
ensues:

"Hello?"

"Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just
saw a beautiful mink coat. It's Only $1,500! Can I buy it?"

"Well, OK, go ahead and get it if you like."

"Thanks Sweetie. I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and
saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the
salesman, and he gave me a really good price... and since we
need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000 ... "

"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great! But before we hang up, something else... It might sound
like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I
stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house
we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember? The one with
a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property."

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price... and I see that we have
enough in the bank to cover the down payment."

"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"

"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later! I love you!"

"Bye. I love you too."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand
and calls out:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl.

One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery
store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50. How she
wanted that necklace and when she asked her mother if she would buy it
for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs
an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace,
and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do
to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birthday
Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?"

Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny
worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her Grandma
gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid
off the pearls.

How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere to
kindergarten, bed, and when she went out with her mother to run
errands. The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower - her
mother had told her that they would turn her neck green. Now Jenny had
a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his
favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One
night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said.

"Well, then, give me your pearls."

"Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosie, my
favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my
birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?"

"Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a
kiss. "Good night, little one."

A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, "Do
you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you."

"Well, then, give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do
you remember her? She's my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can
play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you
want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father.

"No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a
kiss. "God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams."

Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story,
Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. "Here, Daddy,"
she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl
necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father's hand. With one
hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled
out of his pocket a blue velvet box.

Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls.

He had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap
stuff so he could give her the real thing. So it is with our Heavenly
Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives
so that he can give us beautiful treasure. Isn't God good?

Are you holding onto things which God wants you to let go of?

Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships,
habits and activities which you have become so attached to that it
seems impossible to let go?

Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do
believe this one thing.................

God will never take away something without giving you something better
in its place.

Ek bar 300 Pathan ship main travel kar rahe tahe,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.

Kaise?
Nothing serious.

Ship bich main kharab hogai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.

Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet, all ladies suddenly stand up!

Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai, Betho Betho

Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli "wah re mohabbat"
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila

Husband asked his newly married wife, she had any boyfriend before marriage?
Wife: silent

He said, main is khamoshi ko kiya samjhon?
Wife replied: Kamine! Ginay to do

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?

*

*

*

*

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. How can you tell if a man is sexually exited?

A. He's Breathing.

---------------
The importance of UNITY explained at its best:
Wat did one leg of a woman tel d other?
UNITED v r saved, Divided v r F*cked!

I rather get pregnant thn havin a tooth filled
Dentist:Decide fast so tat I can adjust d chair accordingly.

Q: Why do men whistle wen they r sitting on d toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember
which end they need to wipe.

--------------------------------

Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?

Girl: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.

What are 3 problems about being an egg?

You only get laid once,
the only woman to sit on ur face is ur mother,
and it takes 4 minutes to get hard.