Three friends, one Bengali, one Punjabi and one Tamil were travelling in train. After discussing many more things - one of the friends asked, " Now please let us discuss - What is the meaning of WIFE ?"
First turn to tell the meaning of wife was Bengali. The Bengali started," Wife is like a book. Read it, read it; when you fed up keep aside it."
Next turn was of Tamilian. The Tamilian started, "Wife is like a rose. Smell it, smell it; when you fed up. through it".
Third and last turn was of Punjabi, "Wife is like a casette. Listen it, listen it; when you fed up, reverse it".
There was a good old barber in Hyderabad. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there ......
Scroll down for answer...................
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of the Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut!
A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window.
The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, I just wanted to ask you something."
The taxi driver says "It's not your fault sir. It's my first day as a cab driver...I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."
My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One morning, word came from the top that some visiting VIPs would be touring the plant in just a few minutes. All production was immediately shut down as employees scrambled to quickly tidy up the work place.
When the appointed lookout yelled, "Here they come!" fifty fingers that were poised over fifty machine start-up buttons pressed down in unison and blew every fuse in the building.
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease?..."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti din bhar tumhare hathon me rehti.
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.
Teacher:" What is your name?".
Student: " Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:" When I ask a question in English, answer it in English."
Student:" My name is Sunlight
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai is biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
A sardar was running with his pregnant wife, who was about to deliver,
When another sardar asked him, "O pernam Singh, oye moti nu ais haal vitch Le ke kithey puj rya vain,"
Pernam Singh replied, "assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya AA othey free delivery hondi AAA."
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life !! -Anonymous
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Chand pe ghata chaati to hogi,
Sitaroon ko bhi nind aati to hogi...
Tum lakh chupao duniya se magar,
Akele me apni surat pe hansi aati to hogi....
1 purani haveli ke band kamre me Dhool se bhari tasveer ke peechhe lage jaale me Phansi makari ki dum par baithe machchhar ki Kasam.
.."I miss u"..
TERI DOSTI KI ROSHNI ITANI HAI KE
HAR TARAF UJALA HI UJALA HAI......
SOCH TA HOON KI.....
SOCH TA HOON KI .......
GHAR KI BIJALI KATWADU AUR
TUJE DIWAR PE LATKA DU.....
Rone de aaj humko TU aansooo bahane de
Baaho mein mujhe Le Le aur khud ko TU bheeg jaane de
Hai iss dil mein itna dard, ki tera daman bhi bheeg jaayega
Monday se intzaar me hoon... Yeh Saturday kab aayega....
Nepali ko Chirag Mila.Chirag ragda. Jinn ne kaha 3 Wish betaoo
Nepali,
1) Oh saab Ji 1bara bangla
2) Usme khoob daulatmand log
3) Nujhe usme Watchman lagwado !!
Man- Sir my wife is missing
Postman - ye post office hai police station nehi.
Man - Kya karu kahan jaau, Khushi k maare kuch samajh nehi aa reha...
So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant,
"you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a
strange man."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and
shoot your wife, killing her."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her
lover?" asked the prosecutor.
"It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different
man every day!"
This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE.
My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady
nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad
shoulders.
Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have
to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him
before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a
little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite;
his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic
moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocked.
"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling
of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to
even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?
And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality,
and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.
If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.
Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff,
and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death.
Will you do it for me?"
He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank
by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper
with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining
table near the front door, that goes....
My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me
to explain the reasons further.....
This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs,
and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that
I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to
rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to
save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches
every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in
your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by
infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and
stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for
your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help
to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I
can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy
the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of
flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you
more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... "
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting...
and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading
my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I
am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...
I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching
tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....Now I am
very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have
decided to leave the flower alone...
That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies
in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It
has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form
...
Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface
of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands...
AND THAT'S LIFE
On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning
against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you
earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal
question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir.
Why?"
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00
cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people
for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is your 3
months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And
that applies for everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young
man that I just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza delivery man,
Sir...!"