Britney Spears is back in Los Angeles, and it didn't take long for
trouble to find her.

Within moments of arriving at Los Angeles International Airport on
Friday evening, Spears' entourage was involved in a scuffle with a
paparazzo.

Between 30 and 35 photographers swarmed her vehicle outside the
terminal before a bodyguard pushed a camera into a photographer's
face, Los Angeles World Airport Police Sgt. Jim Holcomb said.

Holcomb said the paparazzo complained that the shove left a slight
mark on the cheek, but cooler heads prevailed and no charges were
filed.

The 26-year-old pop star was unscathed, and Holcomb says officers
ensured she was able to leave the airport safely.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10
*******

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Twentythree is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." Freddie, age 6

*******

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, 6

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8
*******

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8
*******

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8.

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10
*******

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9
*******

WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
"When they're rich." Pam, age 7

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7

"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." Howard, age 8
*******

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." Anita, 9

"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaperchanging." Kirsten, age 10
*******

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8

"You can be sure of one thing  the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." Roberta, age 7
*******

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10



Hindi SMS

Posted

Abhi bole to bhai ko tere SMS nahi aarele,
Bhai ka khopdi boht tight he,
Bol nikalu kya tera luky draw?
Bole to do-char SMS chipka dal mamu.

Sender... Circuit Bhai!

~~~~~~~~~

Bijli + Badal = Savan aya.
Barat + Baja = Dulha aya.

Phool + Nazare = vasant aya.
Aap + Apki hasi = bhago bhago BhHOOt aaya

~~~~~~~~~

Dost: "Tumhari toh RAM - SITA ki jodi lagti hai"

Man:"Bilkul Galat hai:

Naa to koi meri biwi ko utha ke Le jaata hai, Naa hi ye dharti me samaati hai!

~~~~~~~~~

Hazaro ladkiya aati hai
Hazaro jati hai
Hazaro hasti hai
Hazaro rulati hai
Lekin mere dost sath vohi nibhati hai
Jo Doli me aati hai

Aur gale pad jati hai.

~~~~~~~~~

Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele
ghar pahunch jaate hai.

.................................................

Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an
opportunity to watch one of her movie.... The Movie came to an End.

A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself,
"Thank God it was just a movie and not reality."

.................................................

Santa & Banta were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?

Santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?

Santa: Even I did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

.................................................

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta
hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

.................................................

More Santa Banta SMS for U :)

Door open while bathing | Santa's wife dies | mother tongue |
swallowed a Kay | kill a bird
.....................................................

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to
lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than
100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I
have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to
lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat
but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one
other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'Kem Chho'

The other candidate answers 'Ek Dam Majama'

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

**********
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

**********
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

**********
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

**********
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

**********
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you
can tell them apart.

**********
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to
make some woman miserable.

**********
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

**********
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

**********
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

**********
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

**********
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

**********
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

**********
14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes,
it means that you laugh at his.

**********
15. Sadly, all men are created equal!

Her name is China Brezner. Her father was a producer in the movie "The
Greatest Game Ever Played," which Shia co-starred in. She is the same
age as Shia (22) and attended Wheaton College in Los Angeles and has a
Bachelor's Degree in Psychology.


LaBeouf tells People magazine that he's still not over his first love,
a producer's daughter named China Brezner, whom he met when he was
filming The Greatest Game Ever Played.

"We were inseparable," LaBeouf says. "She was my best friend and my love."

The pair dated for three years but ended their relationship in the
spring. "My focus became so work-related that I couldn't devote any
time to a relationship," he says. "It was unfair to her."

As for how he's coping since the breakup, he says it's "like
rebuilding after a tornado."

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Hollywood Dirt <hollywood_online@yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 23, 2008 at 2:31 AM
Subject: [Hollywood Dirt] PHOTOS: Hayden Panettiere's New Hair-Do
To: Hollywood_Dirt@yahoogroups.com


Hayden Panettiere shows off her short new do at the Flex Rally 2008
charity event at Edison Downtown on Saturday in Los Angeles.

Earlier in the day, the 18-year-old Heroes hottie was seen sporting a
pony-tailed brunette wig while shooting a gun. Hayden was also seen
getting hot and heavy with costar Milo Ventimiglia.

The Ford Flex Rally was a charity event launching Ford's new crossover
SUV. It's also a scavenger hunt in which 10 celebrity teams drive the
2009 Ford Flex around looking for clues. Ford partnered with charity
Band From TV for ultimate adventure in the new 2009 Ford Flex.

The event, starting Saturday, was hosted by "Band From TV" formed by
Heroes star Greg Grunberg and peopled by the likes of Hugh Laurie
(House), Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) and Jesse Spencer
(House).

Frail Amy Winehouse has been struck down by the deadly lung condition
emphysema - and she could be in a wheelchair within a MONTH if she
doesn't stop smoking crack cocaine, her dad revealed last night.
Doctors have also told the star, 24 - rushed to hospital after having
a fit this week - that she will need a permanent oxygen mask to
survive unless she takes their advice.
In an emotional interview, her devastated father Mitch told the Sunday
Mirror how watching his daughter deteriorate reminded him of his own
78-year-old mother struggling for breath on an aspirator before she
died of lung cancer.
Worried dad Mitch said: "To think this could be my beautiful
24-year-old daughter's life is preposterous. But if drugs mean more to
her than breathing properly, then so be it. But the doctors have told
her if she goes back to smoking drugs it won't just ruin her voice, it
will kill her. It's been a tough week."
Mitch also told of his fears as Amy underwent tests after a mystery
lump was found on her chest during scans at private London hospital
The Clinic.
He said: "After lots of tests they found a lump in Amy's chest. A scan
has shown it's not cancerous and there are no traces of cancer in her
blood. But they might need to double check.
"There is a chance she might need a biopsy. If they need to cut the
lump out then that will mean a massive and painful operation and a lot
of recuperation.
At the moment that doesn't look likely.
"When they told me she had a lump, I was very, very worried. At times
Amy seems nervous about it but she doesn't panic until something's 100
per cent."
Ex-cabbie Mitch revealed how he recognised "warning signs" that Amy
would have a seizure after noticing her eyes were squinting at a
family lunch last Sunday. Then at 4pm on Monday, he rushed the
troubled star to hospital in the back of his cab after she collapsed
in a fit at her home in Camden, North London. She has suffered two
seizures in the past year, including one last August when she was
hospitalised after a huge drugs binge.
Mitch added: "When I saw her last Sunday lunch at her favourite
Spanish bar in Camden she was just picking at her tapas and salad. Her
eyes kept on squinting and flickering and I said to her then how that
had happened the last time she had a seizure. I even called her
manager Ray to tell him. Amy just brushed it off and said she had a
headache.
But the next day she collapsed. I got a call when I was out for lunch.
An ambulance came but she sent it away.
"But she wanted to go to hospital this time and she could walk so I
put her in the back of the cab. She didn't talk much and I could see
her in the mirror falling asleep.
"When we got to the hospital a room was ready. Several doctors came in
and checked to make sure she didn't need any emergency treatment. They
operaput her on a drip straight away because she was dehydrated. She
said, 'Don't worry about me, Dad. I know I've got to stop taking drugs
now'. At the hospital we found she'd been awake for 48 hours. We can
only speculate she'd been taking drugs all that time. She curled up in
bed and went to sleep. In between tests, she slept for almost three
days solid."
The lung-damage caused by emphysema is irreversible and can lead some
sufferers to become dependent on oxygen supplies. Skeletal Amy was
also suffering from irregular heartbeats when admitted.
Terrified she risks losing her life, she has now vowed to stay clean
and started a drug replacement programme on Tuesday. Mitch said: "The
doctors have said that if she had continued the way she was going she
could have ended up an invalid - she wouldn't have been able to
breathe.
"She's got emphysema. Iit's in its early stages, but had it gone on
for another month they painted a very vivid picture of her sitting
there like an old person with a mask on her face struggling to
breathe.
"With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all
gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She's
got 70 per cent lung capacity."
Amy's plight has brought back painful memories for Mitch of the way
his mum died. Cynthia Winehouse, a singer who dated jazz legend Ronnie
Scott, was on a aspirator before she died in 2006.
Amy idolised Cynthia, and has her name tattooed on her right arm.
Mitch added: "Amy's now had every scan in the book - for her brain, on
her lungs, her heart. She's having tests every day to monitor her
heart rate. When she went into hospital she had irregular heartbeats.
I was messing around and picked up a stethoscope and listened to her
chest myself. It was all over the place. But they've now sorted that
out with medication.
That was likely to have been the drugs. But one step back, and it
could be fatal."
Mitch is now terrified that Amy - who is being watched by a nurse 24
hours a day and is expected to be in hospital for another week - will
discharge herself as soon as she feels better and will fall straight
back into her old ways. He has called for Amy's drug dealers and
circle of drug addict pals included troubled rocker
Pete Doherty - to stay away from her. He said: "I'm saying to those
drug dealers, and they know who they are, if they are supplying crack
to Amy, then they've got to take responsibility. I don't want her
hanging out with her mates like Pete Doherty either.
"What hope does she have if people are taking drugs around her?
Already Amy says she feels better and wants to leave hospital and that
worries me.
She says she's bored so I've got a whole shopping list of things...
sweets, chocolates, puzzle books, nighties." Mitch say Amy, who has a
history of bulimia, has been eating well for the first time in years.
He revealed: "She's been eating like a horse. I've been amazed.
For lunch she ordered a baked potato with tuna, cheese, beans, salad
and soup. She gobbled it all down and then ate mine. So she's going in
the right direction.
"But she feels she's ready to go out, and she's not. She's put on
weight, her skin is clear, she's lucid, she's my beautiful Amy. But in
the back of that cab I could see she was worried and frightened. It's
up to her, if she wants to die in three months then she leaves and
goes back to drugs. Hopefully this time she won't."
Mitch has visited Amy's husband Blake Fielder-Civil three times in
jail, where he is awaiting sentence after pleading guilty to GBH and
conspiring to pervert justice.
Blake, 26, is calling Amy every day "to help her stay strong".
Mitch said: "Blake apologised to me for getting Amy into drugs and
says he's going to try and put it right. Blake was clean when I saw
him but he's told me he wants to go into rehab. We've organised it so
that as soon as he's out, that happens. He wants to go from zero to
hero. It's very hard for him being in prison, but at least he's been
trying.
"He wants me to live with Amy in her house in Camden when she's out of
hospital, but at the moment I don't really want to do that."
But Mitch hopes Amy will be allowed to perform at the Glastonbury
Festival next weekend because he believes singing has saved her life.
He said: "If she hadn't done recent shows in Moscow and Portugal she
could have been dead by now. She abstains and regulates her drug use
when she has to do a show.
"When she's been inactive work-wise then that's when the problems
really start. The doctors have said that medically there isn't any
reason why she can't do Glastonbury."
Mitch says he and Amy's mum - his ex-wife Janis - are trying their
best to help their daughter. He said: "My family have been criticised
for not doing enough for Amy. Some say we should put her in a room and
throw away the key but that's against the law. In our limited way, we
are doing the best we can and we are being guided by the doctors and
psychologists.
"There's no need to cry yet. If, God forbid, doctors said they can't
help her, then that's when we can have a good cry. But if she doesn't
go back to drugs then she can lead this magnificent life. With her
husband Blake too, if he gets clean as well."
He added: "We are praying that that's what Amy really wants. She seems resolute.
"I've started to see my old Amy back. We'll just have to see how great
her resolution is."
What is Emphysema?
Emphysema kills 40,000 Britons a year.
Usually caused by smoking, it ages the lungs prematurely and the
effects cannot be reversed.
It can lead to collapsed lungs, heart and brain problems and early death.
Dr Mike Morgan of the British Lung Foundation said: "It's very
worrying that Amy has it at her age. But we are seeing a lot more
young drug addicts with this condition."

The ho wars have begun this summer and the suspect Kim K who was
featured in Smooth magazine is under attack from the real one:

Hi Everyone,

I am angry and disappointed to hear that people are going around a
Houston, Texas, nightclub pretending to be me and pretending to work
with me, lying and conning my friends and fans.

A man in Houston has been selling tickets and promoting me and my
image without my permission - and you know who you are - and taking a
look-a-like to clubs pretending to be me, but hiding behind dark
sunglasses and curtains - refusing to meet or speak to anyone. THIS IS
NOT ME!

The truth is, I was not in Houston this week and have no plans to come
to Texas until the end of June. I am so so sorry that there are bad
people in this world who take advantage of you and me, but I promise
when I am going to appear somewhere you can check it's authenticity on
my website.

So Houston - I love you and I'm sorry!!!! Please spread the word about
these con artists!

XOXO

Kim

Maddie Briann entered the world with a full head of hair, her daddy's
toes and the world's most famous aunt waiting just outside the door.

New mom Jamie Lynn Spears, daddy Casey Aldridge and baby Maddie were
catching up on rest Saturday following the birth Thursday at a
hospital in McComb, Miss., near the Spears family home across the
state line in Kentwood, La., a source tells PEOPLE.

Jamie Lynn was discharged from the hospital overnight Friday, with the
new arrival getting an early education in her family's notoriety:
their car had a police escort home.

"They're doing terrific," the source says. "The baby's got 10 fingers
and 10 toes ... and a full head of hair. She's long, a tall baby, and
she weighs 7 lbs, 11 oz."

When the baby was born at about 9:30 a.m., Jamie Lynn's sister,
Britney Spears, and the rest of the Spears and Aldridge families were
just outside the birthing room in the spacious maternity suite.

The relatives then joined the new family in the birthing room and took
turns holding Maddie Briann and commenting on her features. When new
grandmother Joyce Aldridge held the baby, she remarked that Maddie
"has Casey's toes," the source says.

Jamie Lynn, 17, and Casey, 19, intend to get married soon, but no date
has been announced. Jamie Lynn recently purchased a home in nearby
Liberty, Miss., where she and Casey have been living for about three
weeks.

'Foxy Lady' Vanessa Hudgens is featured in the August 2008 issue of
CosmoGirl! The High School Musical sweetheart asks us some silly
questions and gives us some serious answers.

Vanessa is a pretty well known star, thanks to all the High School
Musical movies, her two albums, and um, those naked photos that were
leaked to the Web last year.

You may think that living under such a spotlight would make someone
grow up pretty fast, but surprisingly, Vanessa still has a soft spot
for all things kid.

If anything, she's getting less of a superstar ego as she grows up. In
the August issue of CosmoGirl, you'll see a day in the life of Vanessa
and find out what her and Zac are really like.

When Dolly Parton was toasted at the prestigious Kennedy Center Honors
in December 2006, much of the press surrounding the event focused not
only on Dolly, but on Jessica Simpson, who flubbed a performance, then
left the stage in tears.

Jessica had been divorced from Nick Lachey for less than six months at
the time, and on reflection, she really wasn't ready to perform in
public.

"I completely tortured '9 to 5,'" Jessica told the national radio show
GAC Nights: Live From Nashville. "I messed the lyrics up, and my
boyfriend broke up with me that day. I couldn't even focus on stage,
and I was in front of the president and everybody. Afterwards, my chin
started quivering. I just started crying...and then I walked offstage,
and I said, 'I will absolutely never sing again, ever in my life.' It
made me afraid to go on stage. After going through a divorce, I was
always used to my ex-husband standing side stage when I was done. I
only performed twice during that [time], and every time I broke down
onstage crying. I was dealing with a lot of pain and trying to heal,
and it was such a process."

Obviously Jessica changed her mind about never singing again. She's
working on her first country album, and who was among the first to
offer encouragement? Well, that would be Dolly.

"Afterwards," Jessica noted, "Dolly was like, 'Don't you let that get
you down. I want to hear you keep singing.' I was just like, 'I'm so
sorry.' And she's like, 'I don't even want you to apologize. Let's
take a picture, and we'll end up working together someday.' And then
she wrote me a letter, 'cause all the media and the press were really,
really hard on me, and I knew that was going to happen. And she even
went as far as to say, 'I will always love you.' I just cried and
cried reading the letter that she sent me, but it was so encouraging."

That makes it quite appropriate that Dolly has a song slated for
Jessica's first country album. It's titled "Do You Know," and Dolly
will be singing on the song, as well.

LOS ANGELES – She's a wizard, but 15-year-old Selena Gomez knows that
just waving her wand isn't going to turn her into the next Miley
Cyrus.

Since word got out that the breakout star of the Disney Channel TV
show "Wizards of Waverly Place" is planning on recording an album
later this year, the "Future Miley" predictions have started to fly.

"I think it's an honor, it's a good compliment," says Gomez, looking
somewhat embarrassed by the comparison.

"But I think I might want to take a different route when it comes to
that," she continues, smiling shyly. "I love acting and that's my
passion. So I would love to do more movies and some serious things
like that. So maybe a different road with me." Plus, she says, she
plans on being part of a band later this year, not a solo singer.

But in the meantime, the teen star says she's having the time of her
life sliding through pools of chocolate, riding on magic carpets,
swinging from chandeliers and getting into every other outrageous
predicament that her character, teenage tomboy wizard Alex Russo, can
manage.

"Selena asks how we come up with this stuff, who would do these
things. And I tell her, 'If I were a 15-year-old girl, I would.' I was
always the class clown," says the show's executive producer, Peter
Murrieta.

As for Gomez, her parents keep a fairly tight rein on her, she says,
leaving little room to act like Alex when she is dividing her time
between homes in Los Angeles and her native Texas.

"I'm nothing like her," the alternately self-assured actress and
giggly teen says, laughing. "She's kind of mean and a little bit sassy
and I think I'd get in trouble for that."

In the show, which airs Sundays at 8:30 p.m., she's the middle child,
sandwiched between two brothers – 13-year-old Jake T. Austin's
mischievous Max and 18-year-old David Henrie's serious, often put-upon
Justin.

All three are wizards, having inherited their magical powers from
their father (David DeLuise), who had to give up his when he married a
mortal, played by Maria Canals-Barrera.

An only child, Gomez says Henrie and Austin "have become like my real brothers."

"By that I mean we fight and argue, too," she says, sitting at a table
in what the show's viewers would instantly recognize as the Russos'
family kitchen. "We do the whole, like, picking on each other
brotherly-sister thing."

"There's no competitiveness between us. We all love each other. We all
hang out together," says Henrie who, like Austin, hopes to eventually
move into writing and directing while Gomez pursues acting and music.

"Selena, David and Jake, they're all going to be doing other things,"
predicts DeLuise, the veteran character actor and son of Dom DeLuise.
"I'd be very surprised if they're not writing and producing their own
stuff in a few years."

Heading into its second season, "Wizards of Waverly Place" often
fights a seesaw ratings battle with Cyrus' "Hannah Montana" and
Nickelodeon's "iCarly" for most popular show among the 'tween
demographic.

That has led to more Miley-Selena comparisons, although a third
actress, Demi Lovato, is also being talked up lately as the next Miley
after having starred in the Disney movie "Camp Rock," which premiered
Friday.

If there is any rivalry among the actresses, you wouldn't know it from
talking to Gomez.

"That's my best friend!" she shouts excitedly. "She's been my best
friend since I was 7 years old and we did 'Barney' together."

Indeed, the co-starring roles opposite a big, purple dinosaur afforded
Gomez and Lovato, both from Texas where the show was filmed, their
first show-business breaks.