What is the first thing that WOMEN do after a bad car accident?

Turn off the ignition?

NO

Get away from the car in case it explodes?

NO

Call 911 on her cell phone?

NO

Call ambulance??????

CERTAINLY NOT….

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE  u.(very true huh?)

If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u DON'T LOVE him;
If u DO!! He says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u DON'T, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAIN.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

The next time you speed on the highway, you may find it useful to keep these hymns in mind.

At 45 mph...  "God Will Take Care of Me"

At 55 mph...  "Guide me, O Great Jehovah"

At 65 mph...  "Nearer My God to Thee"

At 75 mph...  "Nearer Still Nearer"

At 85 mph...  "This World is Not My Home"

At 95 mph...  "Lord, I'm Coming Home"

At 100 mph... "Precious Memories"

Who's the most popular guy at a nude beach?
The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and seven donuts.

Who's the most popular girl at a nude beach?
The girl who can eat the seventh donut.

..............................................

Man asks a wish to DEVIL. "Pls make me such a thing that i suck blood of all the beautiful women in this world".

Devil said "AMEN" and Immediately man turned to CARE FREE ( Sanitary Napkin).

..............................................

A newly married man was standing in front of a mirror naked and was admiring his physique.

'2 inches more & I will be a king.'

Suddenly the wife comes in and says'2 inches less and you will be a queen!'

..............................................


Gujju women at chawpati stall.

First Lady: Mane Chat.

Second Lady : Mane Ragado.

Third Lady: Pehllun Chat Ane Pache Ragado

..............................................