When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath
away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to
her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit
20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days
later, she became his stepmother.

( Women are so much smarter than men! )

There once was a happy monkey wandering the jungle, eating delicious
fruit when hungry, and resting when tired. One day he came upon a
house, where he saw a bowl of the most beautiful apples. He took one
in each hand and ran back into the forest.

He sniffed the apples and smelled nothing. He tried to eat them, but
hurt his teeth. They were made of wood, but they were beautiful, and
when the other monkeys saw them, he held onto them even tighter.

He admired his new possessions proudly as he wandered the jungle.
They glistened red in the sun, and seemed perfect to him. He became so
attached to them, that he didn't even notice his hunger at first.

A fruit tree reminded him, but he felt the apples in his hands. He
couldn't bear to set them down to reach for the fruit. In fact, he
couldn't relax, either, if he was to defend his apples. A proud, but
less happy monkey continued to walk along the forest trails.

The apples became heavier, and the poor little monkey thought about
leaving them behind. He was tired, hungry, and he couldn't climb trees
or collect fruit with his hands full. What if he just let go?

Letting go of such valuable things seemed crazy, but what else could
he do? He was so tired. Seeing the next fruit tree, and smelling it's
fruit was enough. He dropped the wooden apples and reached up for his
meal. He was happy again.

*********

Like that little monkey, we sometimes carry things that seem too
valuable to let go. A man carries an image of himself as "productive"
- carries it like a shiny wooden apple. But in reality, his busyness
leaves him tired, and hungry for a better life.

Still, letting go seems crazy. Even his worries are sacred apples -
they prove he's "doing everything he can." He holds onto them
compulsively.

Loading the Babe meter.....

5%

17%

26%

57%

78%

99%

100% COMPLETE

Processing data..

ANALYSIS COMPLETE

U R A 100%
Gorgeous Babe XXX!

................................

I like U,
I love U,
I love U very much,
I can't live without U.
Plz give me Ur answer.
-
-
-
Romeo ne Julit se kuch yesa hi kaha hoga na?

................................

Sweet candies are very nice to eat,

Sweet words are easy to say,

But Sweet people are hard to find. My goodness… How did u find me …??

................................

Dil si cheez hai, dene ko hai de day
Magar koi qabeel bhi to ho

Hum to jaan de kay bhi khush hain
Magar tum jaisa koi qateel bhi to ho

................................

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That
must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

********

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

********

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

********

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

********

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

********

The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is,
"What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

********

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

********

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

********

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

********

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

********

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

********

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

********

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

********

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

********

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

********

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

********

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

********

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."

Anonymous

********

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Joe was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from
work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him
up and steal his money.

Finally, Joe decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a
different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this
wouldn't happen again.
He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself.

So, one day, on the way home from work Joe took his old route home and
sure enough there they were.

He walked up to them and the battle ensued.
The next afternoon Joe went to his karate class with a black eye, a
broken nose and a busted lip.

His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.

"Well," explained Joe, "I took my old way home last night so I could
beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up
before I could get my shoes and socks off!"

One evening a preschooler named Krystal and her parents were
sitting on the couch chatting.

"Daddy, you're the boss of the house, right?" she asked.

Her father confidently replied, "Yes, I am."

But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added "Cause
Mommy put you in charge, huh Daddy?"