Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?

A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?

A: Because they are...


Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?

A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
The ground first?

A: Who cares?????.....

Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!



Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?

A: I don't know, I've never seen either.



Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?

A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...


Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
Intention of driving.


Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?

A: Exchange him!!


Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract.


:):):)

Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi...

Sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai
Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
Aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
Ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.

Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,
Toh Rab se shikayat hogi....

Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,
Doosra AA gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta...

A man went to the store and asked the female cashier behind the counter, "Do you have any chocolate ice cream?" The cashier replies, "No we are out of chocolate ice cream."

So the man asks, "Can I get a gallon of chocolate ice cream?" The cashier says, "No! we are out of chocolate ice cream."

The man asks, 'Can I get a half gallon of chocolate ice cream." The cashier, getting frustrated, says "No! we are out of it."

The man asks, "Can I get a pint of chocolate ice cream?"
So the cashier says, "Sir, can you spell the van in vanilla?"
He says, "Yes! V-a-n."
The cashier says, "Can you spell the straw in strawberry?"
He says, "Yes, S-t-r-a-w."
The cashier says, "Can you spell the f*ck in chocolate?" The man thinks and says, "Hey! there is no f*ck in chocolate!"

The cashier says, "Right! That's what I been trying to tell you! There is no f*ckin chocolate!"

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their
75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to
his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always
bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of
our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been
the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your
answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a
different father?"

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she
paused for a moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting
hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks
"Who? Who was he? Who was the father?"

Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she
tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.

Then, finally, she says, "You."

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sunita came! to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

Science teacher : agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe
time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi.

Student : par sir use attack kaise dilaya jaye?.

Go down to c my heart..
.
.
.
.
.
Dekha.
Kitna saaf hai mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke.

Dimag Ki tarah.

Ek admi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi se bola ki sisak sisak ke marna
theek hai ya ek dum.
BIWI : Ek dum.
Aadmi : To apni dusri tang bhi mujh per rakh do.