During a revival meeting an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.

One man’s request was for his hearing.

The evangelist spit on his finger, put it in the man’s ear, prayed for him and asked him, “How’s your hearing?”

The man replied, “I don’t know. It’s not until next Tuesday.”

Money can buy...
House but not Home...
Bed not Sleep...
Medicine not health...
MONEY-IS-DIRTY
It only causes pains and sufferings
SO SEND ME UR MONEY AND BE HAPPY

Close ur eyes !
1..2..3..

Cheater, U didn't close ur eyes, so nothing 4U.

Democratic differences between USA & India:

In USA you can kiss in public places but cannot shit,
In India you can shit in public places but cannot kiss!

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:

"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.


The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."



The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"


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"Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."

,.......Six answers given by a GIRL when she is proposed………,


1 Nahi




2 Mujhe waqt chahiye




3 I have always seen u as a friend




4 I already have a boy friend




5 We should concentrate on studies




6 Tum abhi tak mujhe jante kahan ho? Yeh infatuation hai.





Six answers given by a BOY when he is proposed…… …..


1 Yes




2 Yes




3 Yes




4 Yes




5 Yes




6 Yes



dis proves that guys r better humans than girls and they believe more in spreading love

saal to kai aaye aur chale gaye per es baar hum kehte hain
raho khush aur aabaad aap sab ye dua hum karte hain
na bichure kisi sei kisi ka meett (dost), dilo/ruh se kehte hain
aap sabko hum naye saal ki dili shubh kaamnaayein dete hain

sab se chupa kar dard jo woh muskura diya....
us ki hansi ne to aaj mujhe rula diya.....


lehje se uth raha tha har ik dard ka dhuaan...
chehra bata raha tha k kuch ganwa diya...


aawaz mein thayrao tha aankhoon mein nami thi...
or keh raha tha k mein ne sab kuch bhula diya....


jane kya us ko loghon se thi shikayatein....
tanhaiyon ke dais mein khud ko basa diya...


khud bhi woh hum se bichar kar adhura sa ho gaya....
mujh ko bhi itne loghon mein tanha bana diya....

दोस्ती नाम नहीं सिर्फ़ दोस्तों के साथ रेहने का..
बल्कि दोस्त ही जिन्दगी बन जाते हैं, दोस्ती में..

जरुरत नहीं पडती, दोस्त की तस्वीर की.
देखो जो आईना तो दोस्त नज़र आते हैं, दोस्ती में..

येह तो बहाना है कि मिल नहीं पाये दोस्तों से आज..
दिल पे हाथ रखते ही एहसास उनके हो जाते हैं, दोस्ती में..

नाम की तो जरूरत हई नहीं पडती इस रिश्ते मे कभी..
पूछे नाम अपना ओर, दोस्तॊं का बताते हैं, दोस्ती में..

कौन केहता है कि दोस्त हो सकते हैं जुदा कभी..
दूर रेह्कर भी दोस्त, बिल्कुल करीब नज़र आते हैं, दोस्ती में..

सिर्फ़ भ्रम हे कि दोस्त होते ह अलग-अलग..
दर्द हो इनको ओर, आंसू उनके आते हैं , दोस्ती में..

माना इश्क है खुदा, प्यार करने वालों के लिये "अभी"
पर हम तो अपना सिर झुकाते हैं, दोस्ती में..

ओर एक ही दवा है गम की दुनिया में क्युकि..
भूल के सारे गम, दोस्तों के साथ मुस्कुराते हैं, दोस्ती में

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.

He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of
$5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new
outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.

She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him
because she loves him so much.

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.

She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his
computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she
tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves
him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.

She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and
reinvests the remainder in a joint account.

She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she
loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?

Think like a man . . .

(scroll down for the answer)

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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

Men are Men.... Obviously!!! :)

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.

I'm sorry.

Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky....... .......

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"