Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go f-ck herself!"

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a
woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head
ofa man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $
80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than
the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the study was published, the University of South Carolina
decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of
research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman
more pleasure during sex.

The University of Georgia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted
their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they
oncluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting
him in the forehead.