1.Farmer ordered a Milking Machine. Tried it on on his penis & hada wonderful orgasm, but could not remove it. So he read the manual & faints.
It said," AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS"

2.A SAD STORY : A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep.
Now comes the sad part - the next day their driver died.

3. A recent survey asked 100 Sexually active men what they mostenjoyed about a blow job. 99.9% said'" The 10 minutes silence."

4. What is a kiss ? Kiss is an enquiry in the first floor,about vacancy in the Ground Floor.

5. What would be the name of a Chinese Prostitute?....................Sabne Lee.

6. Why do women love gold more than man?
Because Gold has 24 Carrots while man has only one Carrot.

7. Prostitute to man:"Hi, man, want to have sex?
Man to prostitute:"Ok.Only if you do it like my wife does."
Prostitute:"I can do it in any way. So how does she do it?
Man:"She does it for free."

8. A 20 year old boy gets married to a 65 year old lady.
The nextday after marriage, the boy dies.
Reason: He drank expired milk.

9. Today, in style are small cars, small watches, shortskirts, andsmall mobile phones.
There will come a time, when theSMALL PENIS will be in style, and then YOU will be the man!!!!!!

10. What is the thing that goes in dry & comes out wet.More you putit in, the stronger it gets.Men and women enjoy it in bed...................................................TeaBag

11. Sardar to sardarni:" Let's try something different, let me do itin your ear."
Sardarni:"Hohji, aur mein behri ho gayi to?"
Sardar:"Aaj tak goongi hui kya?"

12. Palat ke dekh jalim, tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai,husn tum rakhti ho, to, jawani hum bhi rakhte hai,gehrai tum rakhti ho, to lambai hum bhi rakhte hai......

13. Jab tere Chicku thhe, sab tere peechoo thhe,Jab tere Aam huye, sab pareshan hue,Jab tere Kharbhuch hue,bade ajube hue,Jab tere jhool gaye, sab tuje bhool gaye!!!!

14. What's common to a Man on Tight rope at 500 mtr height& mangetting a blow job from a 85 year old lady?Poor fellas - both must not look down!!!!!!

15. Sexual Thoughts for Today : its not the length, its notthesize, its how many times you can make it rise!its not howwellit fits but how often you can make it spit!!!!

16. A Sardar gives 36 roses to his girlfriend, whothrilled,undresses, lies down, spreads her legs &says:"This is for the roses"
Sardar:"Why, Can't you find a vase?"